Meet the Team

In the aftermath of our experiences, we found ourselves enveloped in a profound sadness, realising that there were scant resources available for individuals like us—victims of a system designed to protect, yet lost in its own failings. As we gathered in our support group, the stories we shared echoed the disillusionment we felt when safeguarding measures went tragically awry, leaving us fighting not only against the stigma but also in a relentless battle to clear our names. Each of us navigated this treacherous path alone, grappling with the weight of misjudgements and misconceptions that followed us. It was a painful awakening to understand that the very services meant to support us often overlooked our plight, leaving us feeling isolated and unheard. Yet, within the warmth of our group, we discovered a sliver of hope—a collective strength to reclaim our narratives and advocate for justice—a journey that, though fraught with sorrow, became a source of resilience and empowerment.

Sharon
Super Mum: 49 years old, Juggling Life with ADHD!
Fulltime housewife, mum of 4 children with additional needs

The driving force for myself and my colleague, Carrie, to create this support group stemmed from our own personal experiences with social services. In my case, the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) were also involved. The treatment that my husband and I received over the course of our journey often felt inadequate and left us searching for answers and support. We realised that many individuals navigating similar challenges lacked a safe space to share their stories and gain mutual understanding. Thus, our support group was born, aiming to provide a nurturing environment where people can connect, share their experiences, and find solace in knowing they are not alone in their struggles with social services and mental health treatment.

Survival Secrets: Thrive Against All Odds!

Read the methods, hobbies I adopted to navigate through the most challenging periods of my Life

Where was your starting point?

When I first embarked on my journey towards recovery, I felt utterly alone, engulfed by a sense of isolation that made every challenge seem insurmountable. The absence of support was palpable; I found myself grappling with feelings of anxiety and despair, unsure of where to turn for guidance. It was during this tumultuous time that I realised the importance of turning to my lifetime friends and believing that they wouldn't let you down.

Of course, I had my husband, who was amazing, but he was also trying to process the same trauma. It became clear early on that we approached our feelings in completely different ways. While he carried his own burdens, I found myself longing for a space where I could share my experiences, fears, and triumphs with others who truly understood my struggles. In a support group, I could express the emotions that were difficult to voice at home, knowing that I wasn't alone in navigating the complexities of our shared journey.

Did you have any therapy?

Having to go through counselling was a crucial step for me, as I found myself at a crossroads and couldn't see how to even begin the process of healing. Counselloring provided me with a safe space where I could express my true feelings about the very services that had harmed both me and my family. It was essential for me to feel secure in sharing my experiences and knowing that I was being heard without judgement. This sense of safety allowed me to confront my emotions openly, and ultimately, I needed to be believed in order to move forward on my journey to recovery.

In this nurturing environment, I discovered not only understanding but also validation for my experiences. She not only allowed me to articulate my struggles but also reassured me that I was not alone in my feelings. Together, we cultivated a sense of trust and camaraderie, which was instrumental in helping me reclaim my voice and my strength. It was a pivotal moment for me, as I realised the importance of being in a space where I could share my truth and be embraced with compassion.

Did you feel shame?

In the dimly lit corners of our support group, we often gather with a shared understanding of the weighty shame that can envelop us. It's a feeling we know too well; the kind that lingers in the back of our minds, whispering that we are unworthy of acceptance or love. Even though we come together to shed these burdens, the reality is that shame can be a relentless companion, urging us to hide away rather than share our truths.

We remind each other that we shouldn't feel ashamed of our struggles, that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Yet, in those moments of silence, we can't help but feel the heavy cloak of shame drape over us, filling our hearts with doubt. It’s a battle we face collectively, recognising that the journey towards forgiveness and acceptance begins with acknowledging our feelings, rather than hiding from them. Only through sharing can we begin to lift the shame, allowing the light of hope to break through the darkness.

Hobbies

I've recently taken up crocheting, and I must say, it's been a wonderfully therapeutic experience! It's amazing how the simple act of creating something with your hands can bring such joy and satisfaction. If you're curious, I'd love for you to check out a few of my creations below. Being part of this support group will really encourage you to explore new activties, and I'm excited to share my journey with all of you!

Carrie
Embracing Life: as a 43 year old Full-Time Housewife and Mum to our Amazing Neurodiverse Son!

Hello! We wanted to share our personal experiences with you all to help you feel at ease and connect with us on a personal level. Our journey was very different from Sharon's, in the sense that we did know the cause and reason for the safeguarding referral. However, the shame and judgment that accompanied the situation were overwhelming at times. It felt as though our lives were being scrutinised, and the fear of being judged by others added to our anxieties.At the time I notified the school that our son was struggling that morning with his dysregulation, we were deeply concerned about his well-being. He was doing his utmost to manage his emotions, but in the process of trying to self-regulate, he accidentally sustained a small bruise. This incident highlighted our need to maintain open lines of communication with the school, and we felt it was imperative to inform them immediately, just as we would with any other form of communication regarding his welfare.

Despite our ongoing working relationship with the school's staff, we understood the importance of keeping them informed about any incidents that might affect our son's ability to learn and thrive in the school environment. Transparency in these matters is crucial for ensuring that he receives the appropriate support and understanding that he needs, particularly when navigating challenges associated with his condition.

This process and treatment of families needs to address each case on its own merit, as the unique circumstances of each situation are crucial for appropriate support. Unfortunately, the way in which our case was handled created unnecessary shame and distress. The judgement from social services was harsh and did not take into account the complexities of our situation, leading to a feeling of being misunderstood and unsupported. To truly assist families in need, a more nuanced and compassionate approach is essential, recognising that each family faces its own challenges and deserves tailored support that reflects their individual needs and context.In my Police voluntary interview, I at least felt heard, given empathy, and believed. This was a reassuring experience amidst the tumult of my situation. However, I sadly found that this sense of validation did not translate into a positive impact from the Local Authority. Despite feeling supported during the interview, the stress of the ensuing weeks only worsened as I grappled with the ongoing challenges and lack of understanding from those in positions of authority. It was disheartening to see that my experience and feelings were seemingly overlooked, leaving me feeling isolated and unsupported in a time of need.

Survival Secrets:

Thrive Against All Odds!

Read the methods, hobbies I adopted to navigate through the most challenging periods of my Life

Where was your starting point?

When I first embarked on this journey of safeguarding adults and children, I must admit that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. To be honest, I often felt like a robot, caught in a whirlwind of tasks and responsibilities that blurred the lines of my reality. I struggled to keep track of what day it was, where I was, and what was being asked of me. The sheer volume of information and expectations was overwhelming, pushing me to focus solely on the day at hand. I found solace in limiting my thoughts to just the immediate moment, as anything beyond that became too daunting to contemplate. It was a challenging time, navigating through the complexities of safeguarding while feeling disoriented and detached from the process.

Did you have any therapy?

As a family, we had already been seeing a therapist, but we decided to pause our sessions until the Child in Need (CIN) plan was closed. During this time, I attempted Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), but it didn't quite resonate with me. Instead, I found invaluable support from my family and friends, which helped me navigate my feelings more effectively. Additionally, engaging in creative activities provided an important outlet for expression and healing, allowing me to explore my emotions in a way that felt natural and fulfilling.

Did you feel shame?

As I sit here reflecting on my journey as a parent of a child with special educational needs, I am engulfed by a profound sense of shame and failure. Society often seems eager to judge, scrutinising every decision I make, questioning my capabilities as a parent. The weight of that judgement is heavy, particularly when I had the chance to protect my vulnerable child from the very system that is meant to safeguard them. Each moment I feel as though I’ve let my son down is a piercing reminder of my inadequacies. It gnaws at my conscience, making me wonder if I am truly worthy of raising such a precious life.

The reality is, navigating this complex landscape is challenging enough without the added pressure of external opinions. I grapple with the fears that perhaps I haven’t fought hard enough for him, that maybe I’ve failed to secure the support he desperately needs. In these moments, it becomes increasingly difficult to silence that inner critic, the voice that questions not only my parenting choices but also my very worth as a mother. I wish for a space where I could feel assured that I am doing my best, rather than living under the shadow of inadequacy and despair

Hobbies

Throughout my journey of exploring various hobbies, I have discovered that arts and crafts have always held a special place in my heart. Among these, pom pom making has become one of my favourite pastimes. This delightful activity not only allows me to express my creativity but also provides a wonderful outlet for transforming unwanted negative energy into something beautiful. In my quest for new hobbies, I've realised the importance of finding something that sustains my focus and passion. Each pom pom I create is a small reminder that with a bit of imagination and effort, I can craft joy out of everyday moments. Embracing new interests has not only enriched my life but also inspired me to see the world through a more vibrant lens.